【请教】帮忙看一下自我介绍有没有错误表达？

gain和master读起来都略奇怪 ，还有就是太多I了，这样背面试官可能会笑场的~~ ps，宝鸡的飘下~

老乡帮忙改下啊~ 【 在 done 的大作中提到: 】 : gain和master读起来都略奇怪 ，还有就是太多I了，这样背面试官可能会笑场的~~ : ps，宝鸡的飘下~

I太多。。。

尽量简单句复合句混用，主动句被动句混用~兄弟推倒重写吧~bless~另内容太简单单调了~最出彩的个人介绍是能让人记住你，而不是罗列一些没有太多信息含量的个人信息~尝试加入一些英式或者美式的幽默没准不错~

First of all, I want to express my gratitude/that I'm really honoured to have this interview (opportunity). My name is Jack, 22 years old. Now I'm studying in Beijing University of posts and telecommunications, and will get my bachelor degree next year in July. I major in computer science and technology. Until now, I have comprehensively theoretical and experimental knowledges about computer software and hardware. And I've done a lot of programming with C/C++ and java languages. Also I have background of communication and network technology. My transcript is also not bad. Actually, last year I even got the national Encouragement scholarship. (多补充一句充实下) In my spare time, I would playing Chinese chess and practicing calligraphy (得做手势形容书法这个词。。). I regard myself as an optimistic, modest and warm-hearted person. And I believe I'm qualified…(后边这个scientific effort我不太理解) 希望有帮助，里面可能有错误我自己不会改。期待大牛出现 【 在 sg8888 的大作中提到: 】 : It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview. I’m glad to introduce myself to you. My name is Jack, I am 22 years old, born in Baoji, Shaanxi province. Now I am an undergraduate of Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications, majoring in computer science and technology. I will get my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2013. : In the past three years, I worked hard on study. I have acquired basic knowledge of my major during my school time. I gained National Encouragement Scholarship in 2010 and I passed CET-6 in June this year. So far, I have been well equipped with all sorts of theories and techniques of computer software and hardware. Also I mastered the communication and network technology related to my major. Besides, I am proficient in programming language, such as C/C++ and java. I was also active in various activities. I joined the Communist Party in 2011. : In my spare time, I have broad interests like many other youngsters. I like playing Chinese chess and practicing calligraphy. I am optimistic, modest and warm-hearted in nature. I believe that I am qualified for the scientific effort. Thank you very much! : ...................

又见你身影，哈哈 赞一个，这么认真。 我思路和你差不多哎~~ 【 在 darling 的大作中提到: 】 : First of all, I want to express that I'm really honoured to have this interview (opportunity). My name is Jack, 22 years old. Now I'm studying in Beijing University of posts and telecommunications, and will get my bachelor degree next year in July. : : I major in computer science and technology. Until now, I have comprehensively theoretical and experimental knowledges about computer software and hardware. And I've done a lot of programming with C/C++ and java languages. Also I have background of communication and network technology. : ...................

哈哈！我现在每天写一篇作文~~看见了没按奈住~~ 【 在 byDJGarfield 的大作中提到: 】 : 又见你身影，哈哈 : 赞一个，这么认真。 : 我思路和你差不多哎~~